I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
