if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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