period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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