exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
