Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
