Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize