That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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