My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
