Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
