You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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