Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
