So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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