remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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