I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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