I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
