What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Shame is for Republicans.
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