you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize