party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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