Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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