Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
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I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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