Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
