never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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