I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
