these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize