I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize