Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
