I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Be still, my beating vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
