Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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