I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
