Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
