Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
bring money and cleavage
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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