I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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