are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
