He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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