The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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