We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
