so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I love you.
Bad choice
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