just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
