Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
