You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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