and she was petting her beer can
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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