quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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