you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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