everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
