is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
