So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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