Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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