I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
