I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Text me some of your sweat
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize