In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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