ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize