it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
