Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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