well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
