Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
