but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
