eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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