38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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