if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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